A tattered coat hanging over a dead end sign, with leaf-covered grass and barren trees seen behind. Rendered in monochrome.

During the fall of 2011, my girlfriend and I were walking the I&M Canal when I found a brightly colored coat hanging from a factory’s entrance marquee. There was no motive for hanging it and no explanation for why it was hung. It was put up as if by someone returning to where he or she felt most secure.

Months later, I went to check my mail and found this coat draped in the same fashion. No one was around and the neighbors wouldn’t do such a thing, so my investigation spanned all of a few bracketed shots.

As I contemplated both scenarios, I gained insight into my own life – namely, into my struggle to feel a sense of belonging in several past residences. I saw in both coats an acceptance untouched by apathy, and existence unburdened by pessimistic resignation – the opposite of my life in two apartments chosen out of lacking options or means, and in a household I, at the time, was incapable of appreciating.

In each location, contempt for where I was, the people around me, or myself took hold, contempt produced by my lack of inner peace. I believed I was forced in place by external factors and deserved better than what circumstance handed to me. The mindset of all but myself being at fault caused relationships to suffer, opportunities to be squandered, and a sense of refuge to elude me. Having no other, my poisoned frame of mind was the home returned to, one I had painstakingly prepared.

A few days after taking this photo, this second coat, draped as if if by one with an unshackled richness of heart and mind, was nowhere to be found.

Minolta XG7
Minolta MD W.Rokkor-X 28mm f/2.8
Arista EDU Ultra 100 – ISO 100